'I am seething with anger' - Viewers divided over heated eulogy debate on Upfront with Katie Hannon

There has been a huge response online to the debate on Upfront with Katie Hannon regarding whether eulogies should be allowed at funerals. 

The debate emerged from a lively discussion on Liveline with Joe Duffy last week, and last night's episode has had a major response online leaving viewers divided.

With some churches enforcing bans on eulogies and non-church music at funerals, guests and audience members debated on the show whether this should be allowed.

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One woman, Dee, shared her heartbreaking story of not being allowed speak about her parents at their funeral on St Stephen's Day in 2023.

Dee told the show that she lost her two parents in the space of just 48 hours at Christmas.

She said that although her father's death was expected, her mother's was a complete shock. Her father passed away on 23 December and her mother died shortly after on Christmas Day.

Dee said that while being struck by this loss, she had the responsibility of arranging a "double funeral." She said that her mother had expressed her wish to have a eulogy at her funeral, but Dee sadly realised that this wouldn't be allowed when it came to organising the ceremony.

Before this time, Dee had not realised that there was a ban in her diocese on eulogies. She said that both eulogies were less than 3 minutes, yet she was still told no.

In the emotional interview, Dee said: "The priest never even came to see us before the rosary at the wake." She added: "It was all over text message."

She said that during the funeral she was thinking: "I am seething with anger because I cannot honour my parents." As she pointed out: "The fifth commandment is 'Honour your father and mother'."

Dee said she was still extremely angry over this.

Dee appeared on the Liveline debate last week and said that she only realised after this that another church nearby actually did allow eulogies. 

This disparity has caused a lot of frustration with people, as it makes little sense how one diocese may have a blanket ban in place while the neighbouring diocese has none.

A priest from Thurles, Father Vincent Stapleton, also spoke on the show. His parish does allow eulogies. His balanced approach to the sensitive issue has garnered a lot of respect online.

He pointed out that although there has been cases of inappropriate language or music used at funerals in his parish, generally most people are respectful. 

One woman on the show, however, disagreed with the entire idea of eulogies, saying at times it's like "going to a show in the gaiety." 

The debate has caused a major stir online, with many agreeing or disagreeing.

One person agreed with a ban, saying on Facebook: "Agree totally. Mine will be private, no church, & no eulogy, if you’ve something nice to say, tell me before I go."

On the other side, someone else said: "I can't believe this is even being discussed, everyone has the right to a eulogy end of story."

Another person wrote: "A lot worse has happened in our churches than the use of bad language."

Where do you fall in the debate?