Portarlington psychologist and Operation Transformation expert, Dr Eddie Murphy, on Christmas.
There is a most wonderful man who comes into my therapy room. He has an amazing sense of humour, and a wonderful smile. He is very connected with nature and teaches me something every time he comes. He has incredible integrity and has a great genuineness. He says it as it is, and some F’s get expressed and that’s OK because that is how it is at times.
Like many people in the world you might pass Peter by, ignore him, but hey that’s your loss.
He arrived in my office seeking help with insomnia. I think about him often. We are getting the insomnia sorted. I can’t resist pushing for more.
I think if Peter’s world got bigger then his insomnia would shift even more. To me he is too caught up in a small world. Working everyday and doing the books for his business. He hasn’t had a holiday in 3 years. He is not in a relationship and apart from looking after someone else’s pets, he has no children. I wonder what is it all about?
Are you stuck in a life, where you wonder what it is all about? Whether you have adult children who ignore you apart from seeking financial assistance, or in a relationship that is perfunctory, with little fun, love or spark. Are you just going through the motions for others your partner, friends, parents, or children? Is there more? I think so. What Present could Peter give himself? What Present this Christmas can you give yourself?
Could you contemplate a 2017 where you are your Real Self; authentic and contented? I invite you to break the mode. Develop your ‘BHAG’ your Big Hairy Audacious Goal’. Imagine your dream, what would that look like. Could you give yourself that present?
Do something extraordinary, have a baby, have sex, tell your family if you are gay, do a charity walk abroad, climb Carrauntuhill, run 5k, write a poem, learn to surf the web, book a ticket online, get involved in your community, learn mindfulness, learn tools to tackle strong emotions like depression and anxiety, talk to your love interest, grow your faith.
Imagine a Present to yourself this Christmas where nothing holds you back. Say stop to your shrinking life. Carpe Diem – seize the day, or more forcefully, seize your life - Capesse Vitam. Take control. Believe in yourself.
Where would this take you? I hope somewhere magical where there is no horizon as you keep pushing, wanting, dreaming and achieving.
Ask yourself are you living a life of pleasure, meaning and engagement? You were born to be the greatest you that has every lived.
Change starts with you. Don’t wait. Don’t think you can’t change. What’s next for you? And what will you do about it? Life is not a dress rehearsal it’s a performance. Go for it full throttle.
Going back to Peter in my office, this is the Present that I wish he could give himself, allowing himself to go there and think, feel and be.
I may signpost, support, cheer and encourage but fundamentally it is his Choice.
Choose this Christmas to give yourself the greatest gift of all; “The Present” is “the present”. Living in it is where your dream begins. Happy Christmas. Dr Eddie.