Santa arriving for the turning on of the Downtown Portlaoise Christmas Lights on Main Street Portlaoise. Picture: Alf Harvey.
You're home for Christmas, and trying to settle back into family life. We're here to help.
Christmas Messages from a Laois Mammy
"Will ya get up for mass, it's the only time you go all year."
- Often replaces 'Happy Christmas' as the official communication on Christmas morning.
"Well it serves ya right, ya burst or go drinking on Christmas Eve, ya couldn't stay at home for one night."
- Sympathy for a Christmas morning hangover can be in short supply.
"Where's the t-shirt I got ya?"
- She haunted the fella in Jack and Jones for a nice t-shirt and you won't even wear it on Christmas morning, you animal.
"Put on that film the children love, what is it, Willy Wanker and Chocolate Bars or something?"
- Important to keep the kids entertained.
"I got the ham in Mulhall's."
"I'm just popping into Shaws"
- Say goodbye to the next two hours of your visit home.
Christmas Messages from a Laois Daddy
"Here, will you go and get your mudder something from me, whahever ya think she'd like"
-Shoves €50 into your hand
" Jazus they're lovely, where'd ya get them potatoes*?"
- Christmas dinner rises or falls on the back of the spuds.
"Jazus I'm as full as a wheel after that, I think I may go for a walk."
- the classic excuse for getting out of washing up after the dinner.
"Say thanks to your mudder."
- Usually barked at the children after dinner.
"Jazus ya can't bate the bita pudding."
- That's why he's still eating after two bowls of soup, six scoops of mash, eight roast potatoes, half a turkey, four slices of ham and chunk of Viennetta.
"Go on there now and play with your toys outside."
- Daddy wouldn't mind a bit of peace and quiet for his food coma.
* pronounced 'puday-has'