Irish people flooded Twitter with their funniest nicknames and it's absolutely gas

Twitter was awash with Irish people sharing the funniest nicknames they've ever heard earlier this week, and the result is the belly-laugh we all needed.

Sometimes you just have to sit back and bask in the ingenuity of the Irish public, and this Twitter thread is a prime example of that.

Dublin rapper Mango, in need of a Sunday night/pre-Monday pick-me-up, set the thread in motion by sending out a call on Twitter for the funniest nicknames. 

Alri, I need a cheer up.
What are the funniest nicknames you’ve heard

— Mango (@MangoDassle) November 22, 2020

With over 1,000 replies, over 700 retweets and 2,100 likes - the response has served up plenty of gems, and it's hard to top some distinctively Irish humour.

Here's a selection of our favourites:

Fella who gets called spider because he went shopping one day and bought four pairs of jeans.

— aoife moore. (@aoifegracemoore) November 22, 2020

My mate is called Beefy cos he was always the smallest of the lads. Also knew a fella from Tallaght called Beebaw coz he got knocked down by an ambulance

— Jennifer Doyle (@RedJen86) November 22, 2020

Family down the Road have been known as ‘The Yanks’ for nearly 40 years because they went to Florida for a week in the 80’s

— Billy D (@Euros2020) November 22, 2020

There was a boy in Armagh called The Child of Prague because he was always staring out the window.

— Basa Clue (@basaclue) November 22, 2020

We had two Spanish exchange students in our school, both called Jose. One was very clearly the more dominant of the pair so he was Jose and his pal was Hose B.

— Séamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) November 22, 2020

There is a taxi man in Ballaghdereen called Abdul and the locals have nicknamed him Abdul Abhaile

— Susan Breathnach (@Rawlikesueshe) November 22, 2020

Fella around my area with an awful stutter called colm so he was called “kickstart Colm”

— Fog Horn Seal (@aar0nwilt0n) November 22, 2020

Apologies if it's already been said but the fella whose name was Wayne Bruce and so everyone called him 'ManBat'

— Stephen Jones (@1stejones) November 22, 2020

Also a lad who kept getting engaged and then breaking it off. So he was christened Lord of the Rings.

— Jamesie (@jamesie_2015) November 22, 2020

My da had a mate in Dublin Port, they all called him “Diesel”.
Every time there was something lying around he’d rob it, and his words were “Diesel do for the wife won’t they?” Or “Diesel do for the kids”

— Seán Browne (@SBrownsaucy5) November 23, 2020

Lads used to play football with a guy called Enda May. Everyone called him June.

— Bobby Kilkenny (@elbobertos) November 22, 2020

Lads used to play football with a guy called Enda May. Everyone called him June.

— Bobby Kilkenny (@elbobertos) November 22, 2020

Knew a lad called Buckets, because of the way he held his arms when he walked, looked like he was carrying invisible buckets. My Da has a buddy called Pothole "to be avoided at all costs"

— Kieran (@KieranB2083) November 22, 2020

Knew a lad called Buckets, because of the way he held his arms when he walked, looked like he was carrying invisible buckets. My Da has a buddy called Pothole "to be avoided at all costs"

— Kieran (@KieranB2083) November 22, 2020

My Da has a mate called Jaws. Apparently he had a ferocious appetite as a child. He has a son around my age, his nickname is Jaws 2.

— Sally Cinnamon (@sallyforan) November 22, 2020

A kitchen fitter friend called his labourer “Geldof”, because he didn’t like Mondays

— Pete Hancock (@petedrums) November 23, 2020

Fella I work with is called Pepper, he has a bit of an imagination. I asked one of the lads why they call him Pepper. He told me to take him with a pinch of salt

— Eoin Coyne (@Eoin_Coyne) November 22, 2020

There were identical twins who lived in our town. One was called Eoin (which up home was often pronounced “On”) so they both became known as “On” and “Off”.

— Fintan O'Toolbox (@FintanOToolbox) November 22, 2020

My Uncle worked in Dublin corporation and himself and two of his mates were called John, to distinguish them one was Johnny Cash (payroll), Johnny Flash (electrical I think) and the last fella Johnny Trash (waste management)

— Kev Dowling (@KevinDowling19) November 23, 2020

I know a girl who was once called ‘Jesus’ because her parents’ names were Mary and Joseph.

— Kevin Murphy (@keversmurphy) November 23, 2020

Know of a fella who has one hand bigger than the other and they call him "the clock".

— Home Aleoghan (@eghnsnntt) November 22, 2020

I know a guy called 'The Exorcist' because he'd never leave a house party 'til all the spirits were gone.

— Nigel (@mufan1103) November 22, 2020