As part of Laois Connects I will be giving an uplifting free talk in Mountmellick Community Arts Centre this Thursday October 3, exploring common themes such as how to become your real self, dealing with strong emotions and how to survive toxic families.
To put everyone at ease no questions will be asked of the audience, just sit back listen and enjoy.
It’s a busy time for me as I will be doing a motivational and study skills talks for Leaving Certs in the The Opsrey Hotel, Naas on Monday October 7, The Heritage Hotel, Portlaoise on Wednesday 9 and The Bridge House Hotel, Tullamore on Tuesday October 15 (all commence at 7.30 – 9pm).
your real self
When I talk about becoming your real self what do I mean? So often in my clinic I meet the most wonderful people who are committed to finding new ways to end their emotional pains – panic, fear, sadness, anxiety, depression, anger, relationship conflicts, traumas.
What I often find is that the people wear numerous masks in their worlds (family, home, community) without portraying their real self. The therapeutic journey is about facilitating the person to find and take the risk of expressing their real self. Too often this is suppressed by feelings of fear, low self worth, inadequacy, shame, etc.
denying your real self
Do you feel fearful and anxious, have panic attacks but hide them to show that you are great at coping and getting on at things?
Do you feel sad, tired and lonely and visit your GP for lots of physical ailments and don’t tell them how you are feeling because you are afraid of what your GP (or even family) might think and say?
Have you legitimate things to say and suppress them, for example the adult daughter who is the over-burdened caring for an elderly relative while other brothers and sisters do not take responsibility.
Or the mum or dad who finds it easier not to tackle the outrageous demands of their teenager. Or you are in a work or home situation and being bullied?
If you too often “keep the peace”, you are denying your real self. The outcome is continual unhappiness. The challenge is to find your voice and your real self.
take steps to change
Imagine a place where you feel joyful, hopeful, where you feel and act courageous (little step by little step). Here are some things to try:
Make new connections or renew old ones.
Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. Accept that change is a part of living.
Set and move toward your goals.
Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss.
Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.
Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.